IVF update, what’s next after today’s appointment

Evening guys. Well where do I start?!? Today I had my follow up appointment after my second failed attempt. I was armed with questions about what to do next and was feeling stronger. It’s all so overwhelming, there’s so many options, but it all feels like a gamble!

When I arrived my lovely lovely Doctor said she wasn’t surprised it didn’t work, due to the poor quality of the embryo?!?! I saw it in black and white, “poor quality”. I was instantly confused and shocked!!! I’d been told all of mine were high quality and that it had thawed fine and we were good to go. Before I went in for the transfer we were told again it was high grade and good quality. So the poor little embryo never really stood a chance. It’s like waving someone off with a brand new car, knowing full well it’ll break down a few weeks later. That’s how I feel. I would of waited for a better quality one, that’s an entire attempt gone, wasted. I’m so hurt, upset and a little angry. It’s not the doctors fault, I don’t really understand what happened. Mis communication, or they thought they’d try it anyway. Who knows!?!?! So I’ve gone through the entire process again, for something that had practically no chance of working anyway. I’m stunned. I spent two weeks praying, hoping believing it could work.

Third time lucky hey! Let’s hope so. The one tiny silver lining is it might not be my body rejecting the embryo. I was looking at having the natural killer cells test, some women have higher levels, meaning they’ll attack anything deemed a foreign object in your body. If you do have them it’s treated with two different types of medication usually. As a pre caution I can opt to take these anyway. One is Prednisolone, a form of steroid taken orally in tablet form. This can increase the chances of implantation. Theres a long list of awful side effects, one actually says your face can get rounder and you’ll gain weight around your tummy!!! I’ve already got a round face!! I was once called moon head!! The second is Clexane, a blood thinner. This is designed to prevent clots and again improves chances of implantation. This needs to be injected. Joy 🙂 I’ve also been advised to take low dose asprin, 75mg, which is something people with implantation failure can take.

I’m going to do the modified natural cycle again. So that means more clomid orally, scans, cyclogest (these are pessaries!!) and then the ovrtrielle trigger shot again too. I’m going to rattle and feel like a pin cushion, all while having a massive round head!!!

I’m also going to get a meeting with an embryo specialist. I paid for embryo scope monitoring, so this is included. I want to understand how this happened and I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again. We have one attempt left on the NHS. Because I had polyps my eggs were all frozen, so you get more attempts.

Another thing I need to consider is having two embryos put back!!! This isn’t something I’m keen on at all. The thought of potentially having twins scares me to death!!! I just know it would be too much for me, I don’t want two babies at once, I just want one. I know some may think two is better, but I’d freak out and take one to my sisters!! There’s also then the risk of miscarriage, or early labour, they can end up quite poorly and I just don’t want to go through that. I have HUGE respect for mothers and fathers of twins!!!!!!!

So this all means I’d start the meds again mid January, then try again in February. Anyone got a magic fertility wand please?? All we can do now is enjoy Xmas and New Year, then start again! I’m back at the gym and I’ll continue to eat well. It seems every programme I watch at the moment is about babies and children! Babies are everywhere, I just hope one day we’ll have our own.

Thanks for reading. If anyone else has tried this method, I’d love to hear about it. Also a huge thank you again for all of your kind words and support. It really means a lot. Xx

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12 thoughts on “IVF update, what’s next after today’s appointment

  1. I wish I had a magic wand for you. You are so naturally strong and I admire your strength. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and positive thinking through out. Fingers crossed February is your special month ✨💕🤞xxxxx

  2. Aww all the feels here ❤ wishing you all the luck in the world for February. Enjoy Xmas and and new year while you can….and fingers crossed next year all you’ll want for Xmas is a decent nights sleep 🤞🤞🤞

  3. Hi Nicky
    I am fb group member of the clinic in which we got our little miracle.
    Have you thought to checkvout fertility friends website. You can remain annoymous and do not have to post anything yourself. There are some great reads there, tons of info on everything fertility related the above subjects you mention here.
    May be of use to you x

  4. So it would seem I’m due to start IVF meds mid January on a short cycle new to this and wish to remain anon just wanted to thank u for ur posts and honesty!

  5. Aww I really feel for you we had ivf and I know how tough it is all the treatment and that dreaded ‘2week wait’ !!! We where very lucky and had our baby boy who is now 4 we also then last year went threw frozen embryo transfer as we had longed for a wee bother or sister for our little boy unfortunately we where not successful and it was heartbreaking as we had just assumed it worked first time sure it will work again unfortunately because we live in Northern Ireland we only get 1 nhs go so that’s us done but we are very blessed to have been given our lovely little boy . I wish you all the luck and really hope it will be 3rd time lucky for you
    Relax now and enjoy Xmas xx

  6. Hi Nikki. So sorry to hear about the confusion concerning ur embryo. How sad for you and can fully understand why u would feel it was a wasted attempt ! I had 2 embryo’s implanted but only 1 survived . She is now a strapping girl aged 22 😂. She was 6 wks prem and v poorly but u wouldn’t think so to see her now ! Don’t give up yet ! Keep trying ! Cos miracles really do happen ! Xx

  7. Good luck with your next round. I know of two couples who all conceived with off (both twice). They both went to the same clinic in Nottinghamshire as they had the higher levels of success with pregnancies. I admit I don’t know how private vs his works and if you have a say in where you have your nhs treatment or if this is something obvious you’ve already looked at but thought it would be worth a mention xx

  8. I had the maximum amount of drugs you can have including menopur, prednisone and cyclogest. I had no real side effects except for bloated tummy. We opted for icsi after a failed clomid attempt and a failed ivf cycle (our one free attempt). We had two embryos put back which were low average quality. We ended up with a healthy baby boy (now aged 5). We tried again with the same drug combination and had healthy twin boys who are now three. When they were two months old, I shockingly got caught naturally with twins who were very poorly at birth and are both now deaf. Therefore, I have decided that you just can’t predict what will be thrown your way. We went from thinking we could not have children after finding out about my diminished and poor egg quality (and sitting down families to tell them they wouldn’t get grandchildren from us) to having five children under three in the space of three years! Life is chaotic. I really do know how it feels to see babies and children everywhere and, although you don’t resent other people, it feels so unfair. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you get your little miracle soon xx 😘

  9. Try stay positive!! It will happen… Keep the faith…

    Sounds mad, but pray to the little baby that’s waiting… Tell him/her that you already love them so much and you’re so ready to meet them..

    I’d say don’t fear the possibility of twins.. I know it sounds daunting but could be your destiny and they will be great pals growing up!! Release control and let nature take it’s course.. Twins would be a doddle to you! Look what you’ve achieved.. You’re a strong girl..

    You’re in my prayers,

    Take care xxxxx

  10. To get the best chances 8d have 2 put back in my friend had 5 and only 1 took plus u r strong u would cope and medical care 8s so much better theses days my best friend has twins yes hard work but they would be worth it I think u have to give yourself every fighting chance hun xxx

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