Ok so I guess this post is going to get a bit deep!! Some of my posts will be deep, some will be food based, some will be clothes, make up and fashion. This sums me up really!!! Yes I’m in to hair, make up, clothes and I’m blonde, however I managed somehow to get a 2.1 business degree and I’m massively in to psychology. So I guess I’m a bit like a barbie but with a brain! So you’ll get a bit of everything hopefully!
Another thing you’ll learn about me is that I’m obsessed with TV!! I’m dedicated to slimming world pretty much 24/7, but I do love my TV in my down time! My iPad is attached to my hand and I watch Netflix everywhere I go!!! My boyfriend even asks “how are you both” ha ha as it is my best friend! (I do have real life friends though lol don’t worry!) Season 2 of Orange is the new black is now on Netflix. I flipping love this programme!! If you haven’t watched it, keep a mental note now to check it out. Anyway it inspired today’s post. It’s based in a women’s prison, the main character reacted badly to something that happened to her, her prison officer explained to her that she actually had a choice, she didn’t have to react in a negative way that would actually end up harming her even more!
I think this has a strong parallel to weight loss.
“How you react emotionally is a choice in any situation”
― Judith Orloff
There are many possible negative things that can happen to us in a day, from the little things like breaking a nail, being caught in a traffic jam, losing our keys, having people say a negative comment to you, to the bigger events like getting into a car accident, or someone stealing your valuables, breaking up from relationships, or losing our jobs.
Have you ever stress eaten, comfort eaten, emotionally eaten or all three?!? When something bad happens to us, it’s easy for us to slip into old habits again.
There are different types of reactions:-
Self-victimisation. We ask ourselves “Why is this happening to me? Why am I so unlucky? Why doesn’t this happen to anyone else? It’s not fair!”
Reacting in anger. We lash back at the situation, or even people around us, for what’s happening.
Self-blame. We make self-depreciating comments like “Why am I so stupid to have done that?” “Only someone like myself can make such a stupid mistake.”
Slipping into depression. For anyone who has faced cases of depression before it cause you to fall back if you’re not careful at managing your emotions.
Giving up. We lose hope, or worse still, we give up. We decide it’s not worth it, that life is out to get us, and we should just stop trying altogether.
The thing is that’s life. We all have ups and downs, the good and bad, the positives and the negatives of life. What sets you apart from others though, is how you choose to deal with this situation. Our instinct might be, well I’m stressed I need to eat, or drink! I’ve been there! I’ve inhaled a pizza and ice cream when I’m sad or downed lots of wine when I’m mad! Did it make me feel any better?!? Er no! I felt so much worse! Especially after the wine!!!! We need to find new techniques, new grooves. We can choose not to do this. These techniques are designed to help:-
1. Release your frustrations.
Don’t bottle them up because you might just implode. Talk to a friend about it, this is why staying to group is so vital. Some people also like to write about it, either in a diary or online.
2. Realise you are not alone.
No matter what you may think, you’re not alone in this. Someone out there is feeling down too, wondering why he or she is experiencing this. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimising mindset. Again another reason why staying to group is important.
3. Being frustrated isn’t going to solve anything.
The problem will still remain whether you go mental and hit the biscuit tin or whether you think about it calmly. The former will create more problems as your agitation prevents you from making good decisions. I knew remaining frustrated that I didn’t look like all the other girls I envied wouldn’t do anything. I had to focus on what could be done instead.
4. Know you always have a choice.
Realise that no matter what happens, you always have a choice in how you react. While you may not be able to control what happens to you, you can most certainly control your behaviors. You can face the worst things in the world, but if you make the choice not to let yourself be affected by them, you won’t be.
5. Objectify it.
An incident is an incident; we’re responsible for the feelings attached. Remove the feelings and look at the situation objectify. This will help us cope a lot better.
6. Focus on what you can do.
Action creates empowerment. It brings possibilities. It creates results. By taking action, you are no longer a passive recipient. You are a conscious creator.
7. Ask for help if you need to.
It’s okay to ask for help if it makes the situation easier. Remember, you are not alone in this. You’ve got your consultant, your sw friends and your own friends and family.
8. See it as an obstacle to be overcome.
Life is a journey of learning and growth, and everything happens for a reason. Obstacles are the things stopping you from getting your goals, and if you keep overcoming these obstacles, you’ll eventually get what you want.
9. Identify the lesson learned.
There are always things to be learned from every situation. For me, I learned to try and not use food for comfort. I’m not going to lie, if I’ve had a stressful day or if I feel down for whatever reason it’s tempting, sometimes I do give in and hit the jäger bombs, vodka,mine, gin ha ha or sometimes it has to be something sweet, although I’ve pretty much mastered this. The key is mot to feel guilty about it and just move on.
No matter what bad stuff life throws your way, as long as you cope with it constructively, nothing can get you down. So the next time your husband annoys you, you lose some work on the computer at work, the kids stress you out or the neighbours play their music too loud, step away from the cakes, biscuits or crisps and remember this post.
I did warn you it was going to be a deep one!!! I promise I’ll even it out with some dresses, shoes or make up tomorrow! Thanks for reading xxx