If food were a relationship


This is something I read a while back, I’ve adapted it to link in with food optimising.

It’s really thought provoking!!!

Ask yourself the following. :-

If food were a romantic relationship what kind of relationship would you be in?

Would your family and friends approve?

Is it a loving, caring, respectful one?

Or one fuelled by greed and short term pleasure, is it intense, controlling, abusive, do you feel imprisoned?

Is it boring or monotonous?

Or strict and regimented during the week, followed by naughty weekends with indulgent flings?? Are you having an affair or cheating on yourself?


You’re probably giggling right now, or you might be struck by a light bulb moment. The most important relationship is the one with you. If your relationship with food/drink isn’t getting you to where you want to be at the moment, have a think how you can make it better. How can you get it back to being loving and respecting it? Loving and respecting yourself by fuelling it with healthy filling foods? What’s getting in your way and what would you like to change?


We all want happy loving relationships in our life…… Don’t we?

Happy Fopping xxx



Finding a new path

Hi all. I sent some mid week support out to my amazing members last week and wanted to share it with you too.

We all know to lose weight we need to change. What does that actually mean though? It’s about finding a new path because the old path leads to somewhere you don’t like.

How do we do this? It might be not ordering chips with your meal out, saying no thank you to a dessert you used to always have, swopping wine to spirits, exercising more, having a small bar of chocolate rather than a large, making a fakeaway instead of a takeaway. The fab thing about Slimming World is we can fill up on all the gorgeous free foods can’t we, then we have our healthy extras and syns. These do need to be limited though to lose weight.

If we carry on doing what we used to, the same things that bought you to group are going to keep you here. To find a new happy place you need to take a new path. Putting plasters over your journey each week will not heal old habits. Protect yourself by making new ones. Food for thought today. What will you change? Because if nothing changes, nothing will change. The very definition of madness is said to be doing the same thing, but expecting a different result. Most of us will of done it, we can get a little lost sometimes and that’s ok. The key is to stay to class and get support to find that new path again xx

Don’t punch yourself in the face!

Self sabotage

Ok I need to get this off my chest and move on. The past month I have fallen in to a habit, I’m kidding myself it’s not harming me, but it is!!!! I’m not perfect, I do have times when I struggle and February was one of them.

I’ve got in to this groove of wondering round the kitchen after dinner, or between meals and breaking bits of cereal bars or grabbing handfuls of dried fruit. You might be laughing now as yes these might be healthy syns, but they are still syns! Calories are calories, whether it’s crisps, chocolate or dried fruit. I kid myself there “healthy snacks” so it’s fine, but it’s taking me on some days way over my syns. It’s become a real habit!! It’s amazing how quickly you get a new habit. If it were a bar of chocolate I wouldn’t touch it, but because it’s made from fruit and quinoa lol it’s ok! Er it’s the same syns Nicola!!!

I’ve spotted it now and now need a strategy to protect myself. I was sent loads of these gorgeous bars, yes there healthy but they range from 7 to 12 syns a bar. Add on other little syns I have, it’s taking me over sometimes. I think “oh I’ll just break off a little bit”, then the whole bar ends up in my mouth, I know I’m doing it but I can’t stop myself. I pretend I don’t care or I ignore I’m even doing it!! If my husband goes upstairs that’s it, I’m in the kitchen like a flash!! So that says something, I feel shame therefore do it in secret sometimes! Not good!

So whys this happening?!? It’s simply for me I think because they’re there! I don’t usually have anything like this in the house, I’d opt for fruit, quark and choc shot. I’m still doing this, but then I can’t stop thinking about these bars!! I’ve also gone mad on dried prunes!!!! I have them sometimes as a HEB, but then it’s so easy to grab a handful when I’m in the kitchen!!! There quite high in syns when you do this.

So what am I going to do about it!?!?! First thing I’m doing is hiding them away upstairs, I’m really active and love exercise, but when I’m at home I’m so lazy!! If I go to bed and forget my phone charger is downstairs I go mad lol!! I stomp back downstairs and back up again in a right mood!! If there upstairs there’s no chance I’d go up to get them!! If I ask my husband he won’t get them for me as he knows it’s driving me mad!! I’m also getting the hubster to eat them!

The prunes I think I’ll just have to stop buying, or weigh them out and bag them in to HEB allowances. I’m far better off grabbing melon or some satsumas. It does t help when star week is looming!

After we’ve done it we get so annoyed don’t we!! Luckily I’m not the sort of person who’d then write the whole week off, but I know some do. I had a coffee with a gorgeous member recently who’s done so amazing!!!!! She described it like self harming and it hit me like a bolt of lightening! She said it’s like punching yourself in the face!!! Extreme? Yes, but my god it made me think!! But I’ve still just gone and punched myself smack bang in the face!! So something needs to change. I can really feel I’ve gained weight around my tummy area. My arms are legs are slowly toning up but weirdly I used to have a small waist and a felt stomach and now I don’t!

I think deep down what I really need is to rejoin a group and be a member again!! The problem is I know too many people and I don’t feel I could be just a member. I so end so much time in groups it just feels weird. Part of my of me if I’m really honest would also feel embarrassed!! I’ve got 10 years experience as a manager and senior consultant and 15 years as a target member, I should know better!!! Also writing my blog, insta and fb page also adds pressure. I know all the answers and can help anyone that joins my class, but it’s so much harder to help yourself. I’ve got every tool available in terms of diaries, sas logs, the website etc but nothing at all, NOTHING beats the power of image therapy, getting weighed at a group and getting help and support mid week. I don’t get any of this. If I say out loud I’m doing something, I do it. I lost 3 stone in 3 months as you know. I exercise, I eat syn free meals but these pesky syns are doing my head in! I think now I’m married and older, I’m also not so bothered as I don’t go out as much! Every week I was so focused before as I knew I’d have a little dress to fit in to. I guess I’m happier now, so not as bothered maybe? But the truth is I am!!

In the winter I think we get complacent as we can hide away easier, in the summer it’s so much harder and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable. I haven’t actually weighed myself for a while either, this is also having a major impact I think!! Time to start practising what I do and say to help my members and followers. Starting now!!

If I actually kept count I also know I’d stop, as I don’t like going over my syns in the week. So a food diary I think is needed again too.

So let’s draw a line and figure out a plan of action and protect ourselves. Stop punching yourself in the face 🙂

Read on for more info on how to prevent self sabotage.

Thanks for reading and Happy Fopping xxxx

1. Believe In Yourself. You have the power to change your life. One of the most important things you can do is to accept yourself just as you are. You will be with you for the rest of your life. Learn to nuture yourself. You are worthy of a good live. You are deserving of your goals, your dreams and wonderful relationships. You have talents and gifts to offer those around you.

2. Identify What Holds You Back. It’s important to know you are in your own way when you self-sabotage. It’s like banging your head against the wall and not realizing it hurts! Lack of trust, low self esteem, perfectionism, lack of self worth, shame, not feeling good enough or smart enough some of the reasons you continue to hurt yourself.

It’s important to figure out what causes you to get in your own way. Talk about it with someone, hire a coach, journal your feelings, thoughts and emotions or join a support group. Educate yourself on what’s causing the behavior and the actions you need to take to change the behavior.

3. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others. This is one of the biggest causes of human suffering. It’s a form of self abuse. You are unique. It doesn’t matter who has a better car, home, or job. What matters is you appreciate yourself and what you have. Value your own unique qualities. When you catch yourself judging others or yourself. Stop. Change your thoughts. Move on. You are worthy of enjoying life. Comparison to others is a waste of time.

4. Face Your Fears and Move On. It’s OK to be afraid but do it anyway.

5. Don’t Be Afraid To Fail. Let’s say you decide to run a marathon and set a pace of 3 hours. During the race you trip on your shoestring, fall and end up limping to the finish line a half hour later than your goal. You may have failed to make your goal however it doesn’t mean you are a failure. People who self-sabotage internalize failure. Instead of focusing on the fact they finished the race they only see what went wrong. Failure is part of succeeding.

6. Take Action. Procrastination causes anxiety, doubt, stress, dread, depression and more. The answer to procrastination is to take action. Begin with the most difficult task. If it’s a phone call you need to make, do it. If it’s a job or chore you’ve been putting off get started. Beginning is half the battle. It can lead to creativity, productivity and being in the flow. Taking action is always rewarding.

Make your list of action steps. Without action you will fail. Set yourself up for success. Live your life on purpose.

7. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone. Look for ways to stretch yourself and grow. Choose to do at least one uncomfortable thing everyday. Look for ways to take calculated risks. When you fear new things reflect back on other times you were afraid but took the action necessary and things worked out well. Challenge yourself and have fun with it.

Weight gain spectrum of emotions 

Ok so I’ve braved the scales today after the wedding/build up to the wedding and the events after and it’s a 4lb gain!!!! You go through different emotions when you have a gain don’t you, well I do anyway!!! 

1. Heart sinks and time stands stand still while you process it, really!?! How did that happen?!? I haven’t been that bad?!? I’ve made some good choices!?! 

2. Anger as you don’t feel it’s deserved. Also you’re angry at yourself!! 

3. Acceptance. You start to remember all the alcohol you drank, that take away you’d forgotten about, the wedding cake you had for breakfast and the pub meal you only ate half of, but then actually continued to pick at, etc etc……

4. Disappointment. Why did I do that to myself, why didn’t I stop myself and remind myself my weight loss is more important to me.

5. Forgiveness. There’s no point beating myself now, it’s done, it’s gone, I can only move forward.

6. Determination. Right scales, I’ll bloody show you!!!! That gain will not be staying and I will get back on track with a vengeance!!! You start to plan all the speed food and body magic you’re going to do. It’s one bad week, it’s doesn’t define you!! You’ll come back fighting!! 

This is why even though it might not always be pretty, you really should weigh every single week and stay to class. If I hadn’t of got on the scales today, I would of carried on letting little things creep in, I would of carried on fooling myself that I was being pretty good! I’ve got my honeymoon next week, so it’s full sw force ahead again!!! Back to basics and keeping things simple. Drinking lots of fluids and making sure I’m not over eating/over synning. 

People say to me all the time, “just have a day off!”, “why do you stick to it religiously all the time!?!”. To me it’s just not worth it, how I feel when I gain isn’t worth it. I can cook delicious food the sw way, I don’t need to do this to myself. I’m the sort of girl that just looks at a piece of cake and puts on a lb!!! I don’t get these girls on instagram that constantly share pics of cheat meals and still lose loads of weight!! I’ve never got away with anything! I actually prefer healthy food any way. My skins been rubbish and I feel tired all the time! You need to do what works for you and what you can sustain. For me that’s food optimising 100% with food and then sometimes being a bit more flexible one weekend day with a few drinks. Then lots of body magic 🙂 

Let’s smash this week!!!!! 

Happy Fopping xxx 


The secret to losing 3 stone in 3 months 

I get asked this question on a daily basis, so I decided to write a blog on it. Simple answer??? There isn’t one!! How many years and how much money do people waste looking for a quick fix or a magic wand. I did! Thank god I found slimming world or I’d still be searching!! It works! Trust it.

If you’d like to know how I lost my weight it’ll be a quick answer. I joined my sw group, I went home and read, re read and re read my book again. I used the website, recipe books and magazines. I planned, prepared and I used choice power. I didn’t miss a class, unless I was out of the country. Nothing or no one could drag me away from my group!!!!! I had one weight gain in my entire journey and that was because I’d been abroad. That was only a lb! Slimming worlds food optimising plan is super easy!!! There’s no other plan out there that even comes close. You can eat sooooooo much food, you never need to go hungry and you’ve got your syns for your chocolate, wine or crisps. Whatever you choose to use them on.

For me it was about goals and commitment. I still ate out, I had 2 more years at uni and a degree to complete and I still stuck to plan. I then got a job doing over 70 hours a week working mainly with men eating doughnuts daily, guess what, I still stuck to plan. I have food optimised now for over 15 years, it’s a way of life. I’d never go back.

You need to change habits, find new grooves and commit. This takes support. If we could do it on our own we wouldn’t get overweight in the first place. I totally fell in love with slimming world and cooking. I never cooked before!!! It became a passion. You need to treat your weekly dose of image therapy like a hair or doctors appointment. It’s in your diary and that’s your “me” time. It’s what you pay for. I adore listening to others members, I love seeing others get awards, I like to know others struggle to and I love talking about food!!!

If you’re not ready and you don’t want it bad enough, you’ll find excuses/reasons to not to go or not to food optimise. In truth, there’s no real reason why we can’t do it. There’s on plan grab and go’s, eating out can be done with ease, there’s slow cookers, Iceland meals, healthy food in every supermarket, places like subway, m & s in petrol stations. The only thing that can really stop you is you. You have to believe you can do it. I had ex boyfriends who’d tell me I was fat and put me down, I had other girls put me down and call me names. Did I comfort eat?! Hell no, I used it as motivation to bloody show them!!! Every day I visualise being slim, fit and healthy and I used that to drive me.

Trust me when I say this, getting to target and feeling finally happy in your own skin will feel better than any piece of cake, any pizza or any take away. Yes a whole tub of ice cream, haribos and a dominos is amazing and tastes nice, but how do you feel after?!? The pleasure lasts seconds, then you get the guilt and sick feeling. Eating rubbish makes you feel rubbish. You’ll start to crave healthy foods, trust me!!

When you slip in to that dream dress or suit and you can run around after your children, or you can feel confident enough to go for that new job, whatever it is, you will feel amazing!!!!!!! Tell yourself you can and you will, tell yourself you can’t and guess what?! You probably won’t.

So no secret, but if I were to give my tops tips this would be them :-

1. Speed speed and more speed. I’m the queen of speed foods!!! Add them to your plate first and snack on them where possible.

2. Plan your meals. I plan meal by meal, some like weekly plans. Whatever will help you.

3. Think about what you eat. Don’t inhale things that are going to take you over your syns. Stop, think, do you really want it or can you find a low syn or syn free alternative?

4. STAY TO CLASS!!!!!!!!

5. If you have one bad day, which I do, just dust yourself off, draw a line and move on. Do not beat yourself and up do not let the guilt then ruin your week. There’s 21 meals in a week, don’t stress if 1 goes wrong. Learn from it and apply a strategy for next time. Don’t think, “sod it I don’t care today” because you do deep down.

6. Know your own triggers. If you hit 5pm and you need a snack, plan it in. If you’re a night time picker, plan it in, if you struggle with weekends and alcohol, plan it in. Put steps in place to protect yourself.

7. Finally try and have lots of PMA. POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE. Negative thinkers will always struggle to lose weight. Fling off the negative knickers and put on those positive pants.

I hope that helps slimmers. We all have the same books, we all have different and busy lives, please know that if this is truly important to you, you can succeed. Dream, believe, achieve. If you want the secret to losing weight, look in the mirror.

Happy Fopping xxx


My 5lb off week xx 

Hi all. So if you follow my fb page or Instagram, you’ll know I was over the moon with my 5lb weight loss last week. I needed it after my holiday!! I lost my holiday weight and more. Thrilled!! 

A lot of people have asked what I changed or what I followed, so here it is!! 

1. Eat clean. Which is basically keeping things really simple and basic. Not adding lots of food to food, if you know what I mean. There’s so many recipes for cakes, muffins, pancakes etc. all of which I like and yes they are free, but it’s still a lot of food I don’t need. 

2. Stop when I’m full. I love food and end up over eating a lot! I’ve reduced my portion size and if there’s leftovers they’ve gone in the fridge, instead of my mouth!!! I’ve had less quark too, which is hard for me!!! I’ve spilt a pot over lunch and dinner. Again, it’s free, but I feel I eat beyond being full. I’ve been splitting a tub at lunch and dinner. 

3. I Varied my healthy extras, had things I’ve never had before. Flaxseed, chia seeds and just varying porridge, eggs, weetabix etc for breakfast.

4. I’ve drank a lot more fluids. I’m usually rubbish at this!!! I believe this made a big difference as I didn’t feel as hungry. 

5. Snack on melon or cucumber rather than hi fi bars, yogurts etc…

6. Planned meals and prepared in advance.

7. I would eat before I went out, I had a funeral, christening and an all day girls day/night out. This protected me from all the Buffett foods. I also drove so no alcohol. 

8. I looked at the menu for the restaurant Saturday before hand and choose really well. Asked for plain new potatoes, which weren’t on the menu, but they didn’t mind at all. Grilled salmon and a salad. I also stuck mainly to gin and slim, with a few beers and pimms. I drank water inbetween drinks. 

9. Car snacks. On the way to the church I bought some chicken breast, sushi and fruit.

10. Did extra easy over the weekend and then mainly eesp through the week.

11. Then I went to the gym Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. I did 4 classes in those 3 days. 
So that’s it!! It’s all just following the plan, being in control and pulling it back after a slightly flexible Saturday. 

We all have the Same books, tools, support, it’s about our choices. I said out loud in group I wanted 4lb and I committed to my steps. If I say I’m doing something I do it. I posted on our fb support page, this helped too. Then I also set a goal and time framed it. I feel so motivated and excited about getting back to target!!! 

Have a fab weekend all.

Happy Fopping xxx


Does your weight hold you back? 

Does you weight hold you back?!? 

Mine definitely held me back for years!!! When I was at school/uni I always compared myself to others and felt like the fat friend. I couldn’t wear the short school skirts like my mates or the little shorts. I hated the summer as it meant summer dresses at school!! Getting ready for a night out would be a disaster!!! I always wore black or something long to cover my bum!! I hated going on holiday as it involved a swim suit and doing the sarong dash to the pool! I nearly quit my degree as I felt so rubbish at some stages in my first year. It also kept me from moving on from a previous dodgy relationship, the thought of whipping my clothes off with someone else filled me with dread!!!!!!!!! Lights off please!!!! 

After I lost my weight I felt free!! It wasn’t controlling my thoughts 24/7 anymore, it wasn’t holding me back from my dream job, dream man and dream life. I’m still not 100% confident or happy but who is?!? But I’m a million times better than I used to be. There’s no way I’d be a manager and consultant for slimming world, or getting married or even doing this blog if I didn’t decide to change. 

I hear a lot of stories from friends, family, members past and present about how they live half a life because of their weight. They might struggle to keep up with their children as they get out of breath, they may refuse to go swimming with them as they’re too embarrassed, they might shy away from going out due to feeling uncomfortable or having nothing to wear, some even delay weddings or have the day ruined, or cancel birthdays or anniversaries! Others allow their co workers or bosses to treat them badly as they haven’t got the confidence to stand up to them, some won’t go for the job they’ve always wanted as they’re scared to be judged in the interviews. One lady I saw today was walking with a frame, she was seriously seriously struggling and I felt so sad, I wonder if she knows there’s an amazing plan out there with tons of support. I’d love to help her to change her life. 

Isn’t this all so sad 😦 especially when we can do something about it!

Why not make a list of all the things you want to do when you hit target, start ticking them off as you go through your weight loss journey? Stop letting your own weight hold you back from truly finding real happiness. Some people are happy whatever they weigh and that’s fantastic, I admire them. I wasn’t one of those people. If you feel your weight is meaning you’re living half the life you could, decide now to change it!
Trust me you can do it and it’s 100% worth it!!!! 
Happy Fopping xxx 




Star week, women only 


I’d say 90% of the time I like being female! I love that we can use make up to disguise how we look, wear nice underwear, flutter our eyelashes to get out of things and of course always being right!! Then 10% of the time I’d love to be male!!!!! You’re probably thinking, er what is she on lol. Star week!!!!!!!!!! I think it should be named at sw something more sinister, like devil week, or emotional wreak week, a star?!?! I don’t feel like a star!!! 

I’ve actually got endometriosis, so my * weeks are even more evil. The pain is horrendous, pain killers, hot water bottles, none of it stops the feeling like I’m being stabbed from the inside!! I go two ways. I either want to literally kill someone or I’m crying!! I have zero patience, irritable, snappy and poor h2b can’t do anything right bless him. Or I cry at flipping adverts!!! Things that wouldn’t even get an “oh that’s sad” out of me usually have me shedding a few tears!! So weird!!!!

The other thing to battle with on * week? The urge to eat everything!!!!!!! Nothing is safe!!! Luckily I don’t have any high syn food in my house, in fact there’s been a curly wurly in the fridge for about a year now!! Usually it doesn’t bother me, * week I want to jump in a bath of chocolate mousse!!!! 

How do I handle these urges?!?! Just a like a normal week. I use choc shot, hi fi bars, fruit and quark. It usually does the trick. After the first 2 days it seems to all go away. I’d still rather not have to go through this process every month!!! Men will never get it, they must literally think we’re a bit mental every month!! Luckily I’m aware when its happening so I’ll pre warn him. Did you know you can actually get an app to track it all and send a warning to your partners ha ha. There really is an app for that!!!! 

Don’t get me started on the bloating!!! My stomach looks like a football is shoved under my top!! I won’t say pregnant looking,  as obviously you aren’t if it’s that time of the month! Then your skin?!?! Oh hello extra head, where did you spring from?!? You can guarantee it’ll happen before a big night out too!! 

Did you know Fat, salt and sugar in your diet actually makes PMT worse?

What do we advise at Slimming World? 

Great choice chocs 

Cadbury Milk Chocolate Fingers, each 1½ Syns McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes, each 2½ Syns Cadbury Creme Egg – mini egg, 2½ Syns Milkybar, 12.5g standard 3½ Syns Milky Way Magic Stars, 12g bag 3½ Syns Cadbury Buttons, 15g bag 4 Syns Twix, fun size 5 Syns Kit Kat, 2 fingers 5½ Syns 

To relieve symptoms of PMT, health experts advise us to eat regularly and avoid going more than three hours without food. Bonus!!!!!. Filling up on fabulous Free Food such as pasta, rice and potatoes will keep your energy up whilst clever Free and low-Syn snacks will defeat the sugar cravings:

A filling bowl of porridge oats (Healthy Extra ‘b’ choice) made with milk from your allowance or hot water then topped with sweetener, yogurt and a tablespoon of jam (½ Syn for 1 level tsp) satisfies many a carbohydrate craving.  

Fill a bowl with loads of mouth-watering chopped fruits such as mango, guava and pineapple and leave in your fridge. It’s there ready to dive into whenever you want and with each dip there’s a new flavour.  

Sugar free jelly (1.5 Syns for 1 sachet, made up as directed) is great on its own for a nibble or even better with speed foods raspberries, blackberries and strawberries set in the middle! Mix it with fat free fromage frais and you’ve got a huge delicious Free mousse to enjoy all day long – whenever the fancy takes you.  

Trifle sponge fingers are only 1 Syn – crumbling them into a fat free fruit yogurt turns them into a yummy pudding or snack.  

A sachet of low-Syn chocolate drink such as Cadbury’s Highlights (2 Syns) mixed into fat free natural yogurt is a wonderful craving-combater!  

A huge tub of low Syn ice-cream sounds too good to be true, huh? Well, not only is our version sensationally low Syn, it’s also dead easy to make…  

Check out some of the delicious desserts in our recipe section. With puds such as creamy Bailey’s caramel cheesecake at 4 Syns per serving, spoil yourself!

More good news is that protein-rich foods like meat, fish, nuts and eggs help increase serotonin in the brain (low levels of serotonin in the brain are associated with feelings of depression and poor concentration). Other fab foods for boosting serotonin include soya, plums, pineapples and bananas.

Top tips for alleviating PMT symptoms include:

Exercise! Body Magic activities such as swimming and walking help loosen up stressed muscles and clear the mind.  

Drink less caffeine. Caffeine can worsen PMT symptoms – peppermint or camomile tea are great caffeine-free Free Food alternatives.  

Drink plenty of water – it helps prevent bloating.

A weight off your mind…

Some members find they retain fluid during the week of their period, which can unfortunately show as a lack of weight loss or even a weight gain. The good news is it’s only temporary.

By continuing to Food Optimise as normal you will lose some body fat during this time and this should show as an even greater weight loss next week!

So whether it’s a big bubble bath, a jaunty jog or curling up in front of a chick flick that makes you feel better, you can be sure that your figure is one less thing to worry about!

Happy Fopping xx



Secret eating ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh

Have you ever been a secret eater? Are you still one?!?! I didn’t think I was anymore, but I’ve just done it!! I thought I’d cracked my little habit I used to have!! Mine was different to some people that secret eat though. To me secret eating implies getting up at night and eating while your partner is asleep, or scoffing things in the car then disposing of the rubbish before you get home, or legging it to the staff room while you know it’ll be empty and quickly stealing a few chocolates, then re arranging all the wrappers so no one notices!!! You literally become like a master criminal who can conceal any evidence that could expose your secret ways!!!! 

For me it’s a weird one. Growing up I didn’t secret eat, my mom did go through dieting on and off, but it didn’t have an effect on me. It was the opposite in my family!! We were encouraged to eat!!! My extended family would show they loved you through feeding you!! My parents liked us to finish our food before we left the table. (This does now mean however that I cannot leave food!!) 

At uni I didn’t feel the need to secret eat. I was a student, it was our right to eat crap!!! We’d often go to jacksins and buy tons of crisps, chocolate and millions of wham bars!!!! 

When I joined sw and lost my weight I never ever did it!! I was so committed to my goals, I wouldn’t dream of cheating myself. 

Boyfriends have never judged me for my huge appetite, they actually quite liked I wasn’t a lettuce leaf only twig. They’d usually laugh that I ate more than them!! The first few meals I’d pretend I couldn’t finish my meals out, or I’d try and eat really slow, but then I couldn’t sustain it and I’d eat all my food then there’s lol. Sod being starving and having to make more food when I got home!! 

My secret eating actually wasn’t really even in secret. Or was it?!?! My weird secret eating habits started ironically when I lived on my own for the first time ever. I’d spilt up with my previous long term boyfriend and I was on my own for the first time ever!!!! No one to judge me, no one around to see how much I was eating, whoooo hooooooo I’d go mental!!!! Now when I say go mental, I still eat things that were classed as “on plan”, but I’d go way over the feeling of being full!!! There wasn’t any “everything in moderation!” I could easily eat a huge dinner, as I couldn’t get the portions right cooking for one, then I’d eat 2 yogurts and fruit, then go back for more yogurts, then more, then maybe a hi fi bar, then more yogurts.. You get the picture!!!!  No one knew, so it wasn’t classic secret eating, but I was kidding myself this was ok. 

My weight kept creeping up and I couldn’t understand why, my new habit was a secret from myself!!! I talked about my despair with my sister and then actually kept a note of what I was eating in a day. I was shocked!!! I think some of it was boredom and not used to being on my own, or just a strange feeling of my inner rebel thinking “it’s just me now, so I’ll do what I want when I want!!!” I would never of eaten all that in front of someone else!!!! 

I do still find myself secret eating though!! I’ll serve dinner, wait for Chris to go in the lounge, then sometimes put more on my plate!!! Or I’ll pretend I’m being nice and wash up lol, so I can eat some of the leftovers!!!! I have been known to take photos of my food, then add more on, ha ha ha, the shame!!!!!!!!! 

I need to address eating only till I’m full and letting my brain register I’m full!! I eat at the speed of light though!! I literally eat so fast I could of eaten my dinner and made another three course meal before you’ve finished yours!!! I find it so hard to waste food, but I need to realise I’m not a waste bin either!!!

Tonight I’ve eaten my dinner, my dessert, then went out to the kitchen “to tidy” and sneaked a few spoons of yogurt out the fridge!!! OMG thinking about it now its like a light bulb!!! I wouldn’t have a problem eating fruit, veg etc in front of Chris but I have this weird guilt association with too much yogurt! I know it’s free guys, but it’s still calories and I eat too much!!! I think normal people eat just one yogurt like my sister, so I feel bad if I eat more, so hide it!!! Isn’t it funny the habits we get!!! I’ve not been eating much yogurt for this reason and because I try and do eesp more. Today it was like my old triggers were back as I’d bought some. I couldn’t stop thinking about it being in the fridge!! With large pots I’m screwed!!! Once that lids off I have to eat it all!!! 

It’s not a massive deal luckily for me, as sw is a very very generous eating plan, if I was on a actual diet I’d be way worse!!!! I’d rebel big time and eat utter rubbish!!!! If I didn’t eat healthily it would be worse too. It still needs sorting though.

In some cases it’s actually a really serious issue and some would go as far as to say it’s an eating disorder. I think for many these habits have nothing to do with food, it’s more about what’s going on in our heads. This form of secret eating can give you a buzz for five seconds, but then it’s usually followed by guilt! It’s about figuring out why you do it, if you do. 

Most of us just need to stop worrying so much about what people might think. It’s easy to feel like everyone is watching and judging you, especially if you’re not happy with how you look and you’re eating chocolate or crisps. But you’re allowed to eat these things on sw, nothing is banned, food is there to enjoy. Do you enjoy it as much if you’re eating it in secret?!? Probably not. 

If you are someone who eats secretly, hides wrappers, or waits until your partners, family, friends or colleagues are out before tucking into that second dinner try thinking twice before you do it next time. You may never have told anyone you do it and It may not be easy to stop. But remember this, on sw food is nothing to be ashamed of. If people don’t understand our plan, or why we can eat lots of lovely free foods, weighed and measured healthy extras and then enjoy our syns, teach them. Explain to them how it works, that way you shouldn’t feel bad about eating them through fear of being judged. 

That’s my little bit of self disclosure for tonight.

Happy Fopping xx



10 things you won’t know about me! 

I see these things all the time on Instagram. I get tagged in them a lot, so I thought while I’ve got 5 mins I’d share 10 random one!! 

1. I played squash from 6 years old to my late teens. I actually played for the West Midlands and was pretty good!!! Squash is amazing for fitness, but when I got to 17-18 I was way more interested in boys and partying!! Training sessions were on a Sunday and from 10am till 4pm! With a bad head and no sleep?!? Er no thanks!! I still play occasionally now, my dad laughs as he still can’t believe how hard I can hit the ball!! If you’ve never played you should try it!!! It’s an amazing cardio workout. I was a pretty lazy player though!! I’d stand on the T doing boasts, making everyone else round around! I do regret not playing as much now, I need to get back in to it again! It’s definitely the reason I’m so competitive!!

2. I have pretty severe Endometriosis. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a disease in which tissue that normally grows inside the uterus grows outside the uterus. Basically during * week I’m in horrendous pain!!! I’ve actually collapsed a few times due to it! One time was at school and everyone talked about me all day!! The other was at the gym, how embarrassing!!! I pushed myself too hard a long time ago now and my body gave way. Like an idiot I didn’t want anyone to see me, so I hid upstairs to try and sort myself out!! Someone eventually found me and I was wheeled out the gym in a wheelchair and taken to hospital in an ambulance!!! The shame!!!! I hate hate hate hate any form of public embarrassment!!! I’m terrible for it! I even used to make my best friend buy tampons for me ha ha ha ha, sorry if any boys are reading this!!!! I’m not great at letting myself go in public!! Well unless I’ve had a few vodkas!! Ok so that’s actually 2 facts there! Something like that happening is my worst nightmare!! 

3. Tattoos. I thought it was really cool when I was young to have a tattoo. I eased my parents in by getting my top ear pierced first, then my nose, then went for the tattoo!! Now you can remove a horrible nose ring, but tattoos aren’t as easy!! I started with one around my belly button, which is horrendous! It’s a sun!! Then I had one on my shoulder and another down my left side, near my ribs, then one more tiny one at the bottom of my spine. I really don’t like them now!! I can cover all of them, apart from the one on my shoulder. They really really aren’t me anymore!!! I’m debating getting them removed. On Becks I think they look amazing! On me, awful!!

4. I love Motown and soul music! My dad was a DJ back in the day! He had millions of records that we’d listen too for hours! My brother is also a soul and motown singer, plus a bit of Bruno Mars, I adore watching him sing!! He’s so amazingly talented!! Soul and motown just makes you feel like dancing!!! Not that I do much!! It just makes you feel happy!! I’m an RnB and garage girl when I go out, my h2b is more into house, so that can be interesting! 

5. A lot of people think I’m mega confident, I’ve even had when I was younger, stuck up! Cheek!!! These are opinions of people that don’t know me very well! My friends, family and Chris all know I’m actually quite Insecure. I’m much better now I’ve found the right man and am slimmer. But even now I stress so much about getting ready, I won’t leave the house unless I look ok or feel good. I’m confident in my ability at work, I’m confident presenting etc…. It’s just insecurities about looks that have stayed with me from when I was bigger. I’ve had really hurtful comments about my fat legs, massive potato head, fat ass etc etc…. Can laugh about it now. Being a healthy size 10 I don’t get these anymore, but it doesn’t mean those feelings magically disappear. If I don’t feel good it ruins my night! I’ve had previous boyfriends who make you feel even more insecure too! I believe a real man should make girls jealous of you, not you jealous of other girls!! I’ve never once experienced jealously or insecure feelings when I’ve been out with Chris!! He pays me loads of compliments when we’re out and I know I don’t need to worry or compare myself to anyone else. I’m just a normal woman, I think most women are pretty insecure! This is why you shouldn’t judge or assume. 

6. I’ve got a 2.1 business Degree. Uni was one of the best times of my life!!!! I made amazing friends and had so many new experiences!! Not all good ha ha!! I really grew up at uni. I’m so glad I went. This is where I actually gained a lot of my weight! I took control though and came back after my first year the slimmest I’d been in years! Getting my degree and getting to target were both amazing achievements I’m really proud of. 

7. I’m very very Loyal. I’d do anything for my family and close friends!! I’m probably not great at always showing this, but they know if they ever needed me I’d be there in a flash!!! I’m not great at PDAS, I’m not one to go around hugging people, but I show it in other ways. The older I get though, the better I’m getting at this. Nothing is more important to me than family and best friends. Not even clothes or new shoes 😉 

8. The secret. This book is my favourite book ever!!! I swear by it!! I did a blog on it a while ago now. If you’ve never read the secret, buy it!! I’m very passionate about positive thinking anyway. I try really hard to stay away from negative people or have my own negative thoughts. Bit tricky with no.5 sometimes. I think this is one of the reasons I lost three stone in three months. I don’t believe in I can’t this, I can’t that. I only believe I can and I will!! I’m still massively understanding when people do struggle, negative mind sets may of been formed for years and years, it’s not easy to break this! The good news though is you can!! This book could really help you!! When people say I’m always so positive or happy, this is why 🙂 

9. I met my h2b on a blind date!! I’d seen a pic and we spoke on facebook, then whatsap then actually on a land line lol but we’d never actually met or spoken face to face!! I’ll never forget the first time I saw him, I was like “yes!!!!” Ha ha. The fact he’s an amazing dresser, very handsome (just my type!) was all amazing but he’s got the same work ethics as me, he’s the only man I’ve been with with that makes me really really laugh out loud, he’s the kindest man I’ve ever met, plus he knows how to stand up to me if I need it!! Oh and he can cook ha ha. Pretty bloody perfect in my eyes!! He even likes shopping!! You see I’m getting loads better at PDAS aren’t I!!! Well World Wide Web ones anyway! I can’t wait to marry him this year!!! 

10. Now don’t laugh at this!! I know I’ve got a degree and I like to think I’m pretty clever, but my geography is horrendous!! I don’t know what it is but I’m useless!!!!!! I thought you could drive to Ireland!! I went to wakes and on the way home asked why it said welcome to England. Chris was like, er Nic you do know wales is another country don’t you!?! Ha ha, how can it be I replied?!? You don’t need a passport!! There’s lots more cringe stories, but I think that’s enough now!! I’ve already said I hate embarrassment!! 

So there you go!! 10 totally random facts about me!! 

Happy Fopping xxx