Don’t punch yourself in the face!

Self sabotage

Ok I need to get this off my chest and move on. The past month I have fallen in to a habit, I’m kidding myself it’s not harming me, but it is!!!! I’m not perfect, I do have times when I struggle and February was one of them.

I’ve got in to this groove of wondering round the kitchen after dinner, or between meals and breaking bits of cereal bars or grabbing handfuls of dried fruit. You might be laughing now as yes these might be healthy syns, but they are still syns! Calories are calories, whether it’s crisps, chocolate or dried fruit. I kid myself there “healthy snacks” so it’s fine, but it’s taking me on some days way over my syns. It’s become a real habit!! It’s amazing how quickly you get a new habit. If it were a bar of chocolate I wouldn’t touch it, but because it’s made from fruit and quinoa lol it’s ok! Er it’s the same syns Nicola!!!

I’ve spotted it now and now need a strategy to protect myself. I was sent loads of these gorgeous bars, yes there healthy but they range from 7 to 12 syns a bar. Add on other little syns I have, it’s taking me over sometimes. I think “oh I’ll just break off a little bit”, then the whole bar ends up in my mouth, I know I’m doing it but I can’t stop myself. I pretend I don’t care or I ignore I’m even doing it!! If my husband goes upstairs that’s it, I’m in the kitchen like a flash!! So that says something, I feel shame therefore do it in secret sometimes! Not good!

So whys this happening?!? It’s simply for me I think because they’re there! I don’t usually have anything like this in the house, I’d opt for fruit, quark and choc shot. I’m still doing this, but then I can’t stop thinking about these bars!! I’ve also gone mad on dried prunes!!!! I have them sometimes as a HEB, but then it’s so easy to grab a handful when I’m in the kitchen!!! There quite high in syns when you do this.

So what am I going to do about it!?!?! First thing I’m doing is hiding them away upstairs, I’m really active and love exercise, but when I’m at home I’m so lazy!! If I go to bed and forget my phone charger is downstairs I go mad lol!! I stomp back downstairs and back up again in a right mood!! If there upstairs there’s no chance I’d go up to get them!! If I ask my husband he won’t get them for me as he knows it’s driving me mad!! I’m also getting the hubster to eat them!

The prunes I think I’ll just have to stop buying, or weigh them out and bag them in to HEB allowances. I’m far better off grabbing melon or some satsumas. It does t help when star week is looming!

After we’ve done it we get so annoyed don’t we!! Luckily I’m not the sort of person who’d then write the whole week off, but I know some do. I had a coffee with a gorgeous member recently who’s done so amazing!!!!! She described it like self harming and it hit me like a bolt of lightening! She said it’s like punching yourself in the face!!! Extreme? Yes, but my god it made me think!! But I’ve still just gone and punched myself smack bang in the face!! So something needs to change. I can really feel I’ve gained weight around my tummy area. My arms are legs are slowly toning up but weirdly I used to have a small waist and a felt stomach and now I don’t!

I think deep down what I really need is to rejoin a group and be a member again!! The problem is I know too many people and I don’t feel I could be just a member. I so end so much time in groups it just feels weird. Part of my of me if I’m really honest would also feel embarrassed!! I’ve got 10 years experience as a manager and senior consultant and 15 years as a target member, I should know better!!! Also writing my blog, insta and fb page also adds pressure. I know all the answers and can help anyone that joins my class, but it’s so much harder to help yourself. I’ve got every tool available in terms of diaries, sas logs, the website etc but nothing at all, NOTHING beats the power of image therapy, getting weighed at a group and getting help and support mid week. I don’t get any of this. If I say out loud I’m doing something, I do it. I lost 3 stone in 3 months as you know. I exercise, I eat syn free meals but these pesky syns are doing my head in! I think now I’m married and older, I’m also not so bothered as I don’t go out as much! Every week I was so focused before as I knew I’d have a little dress to fit in to. I guess I’m happier now, so not as bothered maybe? But the truth is I am!!

In the winter I think we get complacent as we can hide away easier, in the summer it’s so much harder and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable. I haven’t actually weighed myself for a while either, this is also having a major impact I think!! Time to start practising what I do and say to help my members and followers. Starting now!!

If I actually kept count I also know I’d stop, as I don’t like going over my syns in the week. So a food diary I think is needed again too.

So let’s draw a line and figure out a plan of action and protect ourselves. Stop punching yourself in the face 🙂

Read on for more info on how to prevent self sabotage.

Thanks for reading and Happy Fopping xxxx

1. Believe In Yourself. You have the power to change your life. One of the most important things you can do is to accept yourself just as you are. You will be with you for the rest of your life. Learn to nuture yourself. You are worthy of a good live. You are deserving of your goals, your dreams and wonderful relationships. You have talents and gifts to offer those around you.

2. Identify What Holds You Back. It’s important to know you are in your own way when you self-sabotage. It’s like banging your head against the wall and not realizing it hurts! Lack of trust, low self esteem, perfectionism, lack of self worth, shame, not feeling good enough or smart enough some of the reasons you continue to hurt yourself.

It’s important to figure out what causes you to get in your own way. Talk about it with someone, hire a coach, journal your feelings, thoughts and emotions or join a support group. Educate yourself on what’s causing the behavior and the actions you need to take to change the behavior.

3. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others. This is one of the biggest causes of human suffering. It’s a form of self abuse. You are unique. It doesn’t matter who has a better car, home, or job. What matters is you appreciate yourself and what you have. Value your own unique qualities. When you catch yourself judging others or yourself. Stop. Change your thoughts. Move on. You are worthy of enjoying life. Comparison to others is a waste of time.

4. Face Your Fears and Move On. It’s OK to be afraid but do it anyway.

5. Don’t Be Afraid To Fail. Let’s say you decide to run a marathon and set a pace of 3 hours. During the race you trip on your shoestring, fall and end up limping to the finish line a half hour later than your goal. You may have failed to make your goal however it doesn’t mean you are a failure. People who self-sabotage internalize failure. Instead of focusing on the fact they finished the race they only see what went wrong. Failure is part of succeeding.

6. Take Action. Procrastination causes anxiety, doubt, stress, dread, depression and more. The answer to procrastination is to take action. Begin with the most difficult task. If it’s a phone call you need to make, do it. If it’s a job or chore you’ve been putting off get started. Beginning is half the battle. It can lead to creativity, productivity and being in the flow. Taking action is always rewarding.

Make your list of action steps. Without action you will fail. Set yourself up for success. Live your life on purpose.

7. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone. Look for ways to stretch yourself and grow. Choose to do at least one uncomfortable thing everyday. Look for ways to take calculated risks. When you fear new things reflect back on other times you were afraid but took the action necessary and things worked out well. Challenge yourself and have fun with it.

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18 responses

  1. I can really relate to the self sabotage, especially the face in fridge syndrome when hubby leaves the room. This then makes me feel that I have a dirty secret. I guess in a way it is self harm, eating knowing it’s bad but don’t have the compulsion to stop before it damages you in body image and mind. I have been an on/off dieter for what feels like ever. In the last 2 weeks I lost my cousin, age 28 to anorexia. How ironic that we both struggle with our weight and body image. But I’m in the right mind space to do something about it. For me, this has been a major wake up call, I now intend to lose My excess weight and stick to it. No more yo-yo’ing, acknowledge I’ve had a treat and move on.
    Thank you for posting this article, I’m sure it resonates with many of us. Thanks for keeping our weight loss journey real.

  2. Thank you Nicola this is me I think why can’t I do
    It and beat myself up I feel embarrassed and fail
    To make time for group ! Which I know I need xx

  3. Dear Nikki,
    Love your facebook, blog , instagram and videos, they really are inspiring, especially for a serial slimming worlder, but please don’t beat yourself up because you’re having a blip. You are human too and we all ( that is we,all the people who really love to eat ) understand how those healthy treats creep in because they are hex’s ( literally) and then become a snack, which becomes a treat, which we deserve after all the fruit, veg and protein ( bloody yoghurt ) !!!
    Having just discovered almond butter, absolutely no sugar obvs, i thought I’d allow myself just a teaspoon on an oatcake, super healthy, especially as i was on a roll, 6 lbs in two weeks thankyou very much! Right, no, not right, not when i’ve eaten half the flipping jar and a packet of oatcakes in two bloody days!!!! (Pulls her own hair out, stamping feet.) For me, It’s never just a teaspoon of butter, almond or otherwise. nor is it just the 6 blooming brazil nuts or 1 slice of wholemeal.
    So just to say you know you’re not alone. But all us slimming worlders, the non-judgemental ones at least, would be sympathising and giving you a clap in group. And that the reason we love slimming world is because we know it works for us, even when the munchies are getting the better of us and even when we’ve been doing it for years and know better, even when we’re beating ourselves up and feeling guilty!
    P.S You’re still absolutely gorgeous and an inspiration !

  4. Back to group now, we won’t bite as you know! I am struggling as on plan I am not loosing which is mad. I know what I am doing as I was 2lbs away from 9 stone. I have several weeks on plan and still gain so I eat back on plan still no go, and so on. Grrrrrrrr. In the summer I bought my usual countdown and booked lots of holiday weeks as well and gave myself a break. Still cooked SW but relaxed, oh dear. Back on strick plan still not working! I have managed to stay in group because I am determined and I have a wonderful consultant, without her I would have given up. I have no clothes but I am determined not to buy anymore. Lost this week, hoping for a loss next week!

  5. Thank you so much for this post – I have been doing exactly the same as you – raiding cupboards when no ones looking etc – yesterday I had a long train journey & had a lovely salad for my lunch & then bought a large bag of minstrels ‘for the journey’ & ate them all in one go!
    Self harming is a good image to think of & today is a new day:) my weigh in is Monday so I have a little time……

    • Thanks for this. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. You know the voice in your head is telling you that you can do this but the greedy bugger in me is getting in the way. Time to get back on track #noexcuses

  6. go back to class your lucky you can i live in spain now and miss my SW class and consultant pearl from blackpool love your blog just cos your wed now dont let yourself go

  7. Thank you Nicola I really enjoy your blogs. I also have relaxed for last month and am now more depressed so you really helped me to focus. We are in a marathon not a sprint so important thing is to get up and finish no matter how long it takes. Thank you.

  8. Why can’t you go back to class? If you were advising me, you would tell me to do exactly that! Slimming World never criticises gains or bad habits, it just points you back in the right direction. Go on, give it a go xxxxxx

  9. I can totally relate to this, if it’s in the house I’m terrible with picking! Can you freeze dried prunes? It might sound odd but maybe you can portion them out, freeze the portions for later so they’re not still sat out in the bag and then just take them out of the freezer when you want to eat them! I don’t know if you can, but thought I’d suggest it! xx

  10. Wow thank you so much for your honesty Nicola just proves you are human. You and your blogs/FB page and You Tube menus are an inspiration to so many people. I am also a struggling target member just outside of target range, it can be a difficult journey getting to target but I believe the hard work starts once you are there. I am fed up of losing one week and gaining the next but I always go to group and stay to image therapy, heaven knows how much damage I could do if I didn’t, but I have now decided enough is enough. I have just received a ballot place for the Great North Run, I enjoy power walking but I am not a runner, I will be 58 in April and I am going to give it my best shot at running the course so training has commenced and I feel I have something positive to focus on. Sometimes I think we can be too hard on ourselves, we need to look at the bigger picture and remember why we joined in the first place. Here’s to getting our mojo’s back and future success again and again and again. Keep up the fantastic work Nicola, I can imagine it’s very time consuming but believe me you are helping sooooo many people.

  11. I had the exact same light bulb moment this week. Missed last weeks weigh in, went off the rails, had a big gain and was devastated. Realised that I’m at the point I always get to (2.5st lost) and then it all goes wrong. It’s almost like I sabotaged myself before it went wrong…if that makes sense. But I had a cry, had a word with myself and now 100% back on plan. Good luck to you x

  12. You are amazing and very honest, which something I live about my consultant. It definitely is self harm and I’ve been guilty of it for years. On fb you said to find what you’re afraid of and you told me I’d find it if really wanted to. Maybe you still have a little fear too? I’ve lost over 2 stone, 2 more to go. I’m terrified I’ll fail and put it all back on. With the help of my consultant I’m beginning to overcome my fear and believe I can do it. Thank you for honesty in this blog, you’re wonderful!

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