Wtf, how can that be?!? My thoughts after a disappointing result

Ok let’s set the scene. I had a fantastic week, I’ve food optimised brilliantly, I only had one medium glass of wine saturday at a boxing event, I’ve weighed and measured everything, even including choc shot. I’ve had 2 family birthdays and didn’t touch any cakes or alcohol. I’ve done a mix of eesp and ee, I’ve not gone over 8 syns a day once, in fact 6 out of the 7 it’s 5 and under. I’ve been running, doing gym classes and weights and what did I get?!? A maintain!!!!

My initial reaction was sheer horror, then I felt like crying, then I felt a bit angry, then I just felt really confused. I know this plan works, I’ve lost 3 stone before with ease, so where am I going wrong?!!

Now usually we’d go down the route of a food diary, well I’d done one and it’s perfect, plus I know the plan inside out. For most people who don’t lose there will be things we can spot when we see food diaries, it’s very rare I can’t find something. We’d then look at sas logs, as sometimes we self sabotage without realising, I don’t need one as I can answer positively to every question on there. Eesp? Already do it. This is the most perfect I’ve been in ages, so what can it be?!? Maybe I’m being too perfect, after all we do say 5 to 15 syns and most days I have less than 5, but at the end of the day that’s just adding more food, so it can’t be just that.

If you ever feel like this always stay to class, well stay to class anyway as it’s vital, but especially when you’re disappointed. The temptation is there to leave and go and eat your body weight in chocolate, but then what’s that going to achieve?! The one thing none of these tools give you is a clear picture of HOW MUCH you actually eat. I know this is where I’m pushing the limits still. Yes it’s free, speed etc but do I really need to eat until I can’t move, or have to undo my jeans lol. No!! The plan clearly states to eat to your appetitive and to satisfy it. I eat a lot as I work mainly from home and I eat even when I’m not hungry, I also eat really fast, so I don’t realise how full I am. This is something this week Im going to really monitor. I need to stop once I’m full, not stop when I feel sick! I usually end up cooking too much and that’s it then, I can’t leave it! I’ve spoken about this before, so I need to have a good think about some strategies. One is to make less! Eat slower, drink lots of fluids and wait at least 20 minutes after I’ve eaten so I realise I’m full.

The other thing is Im doing quite a bit of exercise. I do a mix of cardio and weights and have just started to build up to running again. I probably need to up my fluid in take more and start introducing more carbs on the days I do exercise, I actually felt quite faint today and that’s not good. I think on eesp the danger with me is I’m full at the time, but then get hungry quicker and snack more. If I have rice, pasta or potato with my meals, I eat less if that makes sense. Your body needs healthy carbs to function, but I’ve got in the eesp groove as I don’t feel as bloated. Sometimes you just need to mix things up a bit and see what works for you.

The scales don’t define us, I actually feel slimmer and I’m in control of the syns and weighing and measuring again, so of course I’m going to carry on. All they are is an indication that you might need to change things. All of our bodies are different. What suits one person might not suit someone else. Your lifestyle will also factor in to this and how much you want to lose and have to lose. I try and focus on monthly results, dress sizes and how I feel, rather than get too obsessed with weekly weigh ins.

When I lost my weight originally it was red and green. I did mainly red. Red is a bit like extra easy, but having say weighed cereal for breakfast or bread, a tuna salad for lunch, then a measured amount of potato with chicken and veg for dinner. Or smoked salmon, eggs and mushrooms for breakie, ham and ryvita for lunch, then fish and a measured amount of Wholemeal pasta for dinner. Extra easy was born to simplify red and green and make it even easier. This is what I’m going to go back to as it’s what worked for me before.

I just wanted to share this as I’m human too and I know the pain of disappointment. However I will not be beaten and I will get back to target!

Thanks for reading and Happy Fopping xxx

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Don’t punch yourself in the face!

Self sabotage

Ok I need to get this off my chest and move on. The past month I have fallen in to a habit, I’m kidding myself it’s not harming me, but it is!!!! I’m not perfect, I do have times when I struggle and February was one of them.

I’ve got in to this groove of wondering round the kitchen after dinner, or between meals and breaking bits of cereal bars or grabbing handfuls of dried fruit. You might be laughing now as yes these might be healthy syns, but they are still syns! Calories are calories, whether it’s crisps, chocolate or dried fruit. I kid myself there “healthy snacks” so it’s fine, but it’s taking me on some days way over my syns. It’s become a real habit!! It’s amazing how quickly you get a new habit. If it were a bar of chocolate I wouldn’t touch it, but because it’s made from fruit and quinoa lol it’s ok! Er it’s the same syns Nicola!!!

I’ve spotted it now and now need a strategy to protect myself. I was sent loads of these gorgeous bars, yes there healthy but they range from 7 to 12 syns a bar. Add on other little syns I have, it’s taking me over sometimes. I think “oh I’ll just break off a little bit”, then the whole bar ends up in my mouth, I know I’m doing it but I can’t stop myself. I pretend I don’t care or I ignore I’m even doing it!! If my husband goes upstairs that’s it, I’m in the kitchen like a flash!! So that says something, I feel shame therefore do it in secret sometimes! Not good!

So whys this happening?!? It’s simply for me I think because they’re there! I don’t usually have anything like this in the house, I’d opt for fruit, quark and choc shot. I’m still doing this, but then I can’t stop thinking about these bars!! I’ve also gone mad on dried prunes!!!! I have them sometimes as a HEB, but then it’s so easy to grab a handful when I’m in the kitchen!!! There quite high in syns when you do this.

So what am I going to do about it!?!?! First thing I’m doing is hiding them away upstairs, I’m really active and love exercise, but when I’m at home I’m so lazy!! If I go to bed and forget my phone charger is downstairs I go mad lol!! I stomp back downstairs and back up again in a right mood!! If there upstairs there’s no chance I’d go up to get them!! If I ask my husband he won’t get them for me as he knows it’s driving me mad!! I’m also getting the hubster to eat them!

The prunes I think I’ll just have to stop buying, or weigh them out and bag them in to HEB allowances. I’m far better off grabbing melon or some satsumas. It does t help when star week is looming!

After we’ve done it we get so annoyed don’t we!! Luckily I’m not the sort of person who’d then write the whole week off, but I know some do. I had a coffee with a gorgeous member recently who’s done so amazing!!!!! She described it like self harming and it hit me like a bolt of lightening! She said it’s like punching yourself in the face!!! Extreme? Yes, but my god it made me think!! But I’ve still just gone and punched myself smack bang in the face!! So something needs to change. I can really feel I’ve gained weight around my tummy area. My arms are legs are slowly toning up but weirdly I used to have a small waist and a felt stomach and now I don’t!

I think deep down what I really need is to rejoin a group and be a member again!! The problem is I know too many people and I don’t feel I could be just a member. I so end so much time in groups it just feels weird. Part of my of me if I’m really honest would also feel embarrassed!! I’ve got 10 years experience as a manager and senior consultant and 15 years as a target member, I should know better!!! Also writing my blog, insta and fb page also adds pressure. I know all the answers and can help anyone that joins my class, but it’s so much harder to help yourself. I’ve got every tool available in terms of diaries, sas logs, the website etc but nothing at all, NOTHING beats the power of image therapy, getting weighed at a group and getting help and support mid week. I don’t get any of this. If I say out loud I’m doing something, I do it. I lost 3 stone in 3 months as you know. I exercise, I eat syn free meals but these pesky syns are doing my head in! I think now I’m married and older, I’m also not so bothered as I don’t go out as much! Every week I was so focused before as I knew I’d have a little dress to fit in to. I guess I’m happier now, so not as bothered maybe? But the truth is I am!!

In the winter I think we get complacent as we can hide away easier, in the summer it’s so much harder and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable. I haven’t actually weighed myself for a while either, this is also having a major impact I think!! Time to start practising what I do and say to help my members and followers. Starting now!!

If I actually kept count I also know I’d stop, as I don’t like going over my syns in the week. So a food diary I think is needed again too.

So let’s draw a line and figure out a plan of action and protect ourselves. Stop punching yourself in the face 🙂

Read on for more info on how to prevent self sabotage.

Thanks for reading and Happy Fopping xxxx

1. Believe In Yourself. You have the power to change your life. One of the most important things you can do is to accept yourself just as you are. You will be with you for the rest of your life. Learn to nuture yourself. You are worthy of a good live. You are deserving of your goals, your dreams and wonderful relationships. You have talents and gifts to offer those around you.

2. Identify What Holds You Back. It’s important to know you are in your own way when you self-sabotage. It’s like banging your head against the wall and not realizing it hurts! Lack of trust, low self esteem, perfectionism, lack of self worth, shame, not feeling good enough or smart enough some of the reasons you continue to hurt yourself.

It’s important to figure out what causes you to get in your own way. Talk about it with someone, hire a coach, journal your feelings, thoughts and emotions or join a support group. Educate yourself on what’s causing the behavior and the actions you need to take to change the behavior.

3. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others. This is one of the biggest causes of human suffering. It’s a form of self abuse. You are unique. It doesn’t matter who has a better car, home, or job. What matters is you appreciate yourself and what you have. Value your own unique qualities. When you catch yourself judging others or yourself. Stop. Change your thoughts. Move on. You are worthy of enjoying life. Comparison to others is a waste of time.

4. Face Your Fears and Move On. It’s OK to be afraid but do it anyway.

5. Don’t Be Afraid To Fail. Let’s say you decide to run a marathon and set a pace of 3 hours. During the race you trip on your shoestring, fall and end up limping to the finish line a half hour later than your goal. You may have failed to make your goal however it doesn’t mean you are a failure. People who self-sabotage internalize failure. Instead of focusing on the fact they finished the race they only see what went wrong. Failure is part of succeeding.

6. Take Action. Procrastination causes anxiety, doubt, stress, dread, depression and more. The answer to procrastination is to take action. Begin with the most difficult task. If it’s a phone call you need to make, do it. If it’s a job or chore you’ve been putting off get started. Beginning is half the battle. It can lead to creativity, productivity and being in the flow. Taking action is always rewarding.

Make your list of action steps. Without action you will fail. Set yourself up for success. Live your life on purpose.

7. Get Outside Your Comfort Zone. Look for ways to stretch yourself and grow. Choose to do at least one uncomfortable thing everyday. Look for ways to take calculated risks. When you fear new things reflect back on other times you were afraid but took the action necessary and things worked out well. Challenge yourself and have fun with it.